#can i just fall in love already
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Okay Iâm. Usually. Usually I donât enjoy human aus and usually I hate drawing transformers as humans because it feels so wrong to my brain.
But then I stumbled upon Dream of something more by Gemma_Inkyboots and aaauuuhh fuck. Hereâs the pile of the most vague and unspecific and undetailed fanart. Because Iâm being torn between âI canât drawing human designsâ and âIf donât draw something for this fic I dieâ.
#maccadam#transformers#dratchet#ratchlock#drift#deadlock#ratchet#itâs kind of mermaid au#but I âŚ.auuhh I canât design mer Deadlock spare ne#*me#Iâm struggling haha#at first I was like#oh okay I see. This is about mer falling in love with a human and then deciding that he needs to be a human too so he can be with his love#but something#SOMETHING was so interestingly off#and then I realised thatâŚ.oh fuck#itâs not about âfinding your loveâ#itâs about finding your way back to your love even though you have a fucking amnesia and donât remember you are loved#Deadlock is so damn confused half of the time because he jUSt found Ratchet#but Ratchet already knows him and loves him and cares about him and he missed him so much and he thought Deadlock was dead???#âŚâŚâŚyeahâŚ.great fic#fic fanart#Deadlock thinking that Ratchetâs clothes smells like home and Ratchetâs food tastes like home isâŚ..#*dies*#the fic is unfinished#thereâs 2 chapters left I think? But itâs SO worth reading eheheh
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." â Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#âshould i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?â#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...âshe accepts me as i am? as i do herâ#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#âsurely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?â#âyour eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?â#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale âbetrayalâ/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a âbetrayalâ in Gemâs eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets âbetrayedâ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own âGeminiSlayâ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes âtrying to fix her reputationâ. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearlâs end of things sheâs already deep into the idea that as long as you say you âforgiveâ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesnât matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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#one night as i was slowly falling asleep I thought of this drawing but I had missed a wonderful opportunity by replacing sebeks text#with the vine dADDY? DO I LOOK LIKE-#But now yknow that the thought was considered#my art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland fanart#twst art#twst#disney twst#twst artwork#twst sebek zigvolt#twst sebek#sebek zigvolt#i designed children#arnt they cute?#say theyre cute rn-#OKAY AND JUST IN CASE I SWEAR ITS NOT A SEBEK AND SILVER LOVE CHILD THING I CAN ALREADY SEE SOMEONE ASKING BECAUSE OF THE CHILD ON THE LEFT#BUT ITS NOT#twst fanart#*this has been in my drafts for 2 months kadmksdm
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hey mouthwashing analysts, do we maybe want to think a bit before comparing a full grown man, who is just heavily disabled, to a baby? like a literal infant? especially when there's a stronger metaphorical/psychological/symbolic avatar for the baby and pregnancy already present within the narrative? (multiple even!)
#please for the love of sweet christ stop treating or alluding to disabled characters as infantile. what is wrong with you#disabled people who need to rely on the care of others are not like babies. you guys know that right#also aside from it just being generally fucked up and weird#the possible metaphor of curly as anya's baby is very week. especially juxtaposed with the stronger symbols already associated with the#baby/pregnancy in the game (namely polle and the dead pixel; i actually prefer the dead pixel as being representative of jimmy)#also i just realized i spelt weak wrong. sorry im high#i also think curly's position is meant to be reflective of anya's. he's suddenly vulnerable#trapped. and at jimmy's total mercy (the physical assult 2 months in?)#very much in a similar manner to anya. only now- its too late for him to act. he can only witness as things fall apart#someone else on here said this but#curly and jimmy as foils- curly and anya as parallels#curly as a metaphor for the baby runs the risk of. muddying the whole thing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing analysis#captain curly#anya#jimmy
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Based on somewhat real events
I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually#only when I'm already overstimulated#there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong#one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day#I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and#2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others#anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters#I hate drawing their faces so much#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#young stan pines#art#fanart#traditional art#comic#long post#watercolor#forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well#is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really#I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal#btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags#is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan#teen ford
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Initial drawings of that old man⌠I literally, I havenât finished reading the book of bill yet!!! I had to stop and take a break for a week to feverishly draw fanart of myself petting fords floofy hair and giving him attention and shitâŚ!!!! The urge was too greatâŚ.!! Iâve literally. I had a crush on this guy the instant he was first REVEALED in the show, but I did not have the artistic prowess to draw good looking old men back then⌠but I do now⌠thank god⌠thank fucking god
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#self ship#self insert#si x canon#it me#doodles#I got a haircut! so my hair looks different now.. as haircuts tend to do lol#anyway⌠yeah⌠I LOVE HIM⌠GRAHHFJH#the confirmation that he rlly is just sad and lonely and insecure and craving attention and validation#OHH FORD BBY.. WE R THE SAME#like⌠ghghg i loved him already just w his prickly nerdy outer shell but knowing more about the vulnerable center is GREAT. ITS AWESOME#also hes a smart nerdy guy who can do science and expirements and shit which is ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS FOR A CHARACTER TO DO#u kno im all about scientistsâŚ.#I couldnât draw ship art back then 1 cuz I didnât kno how to draw old men and 2 cuz I was like 13 lol⌠which would have been wierd#but Iâm an ADULT NOW. GET OVER HERE FORD#also it didnât even rlly cross my mind TO draw that stuff cuz even tho I did love ford#self ship and x reader sorta stuff was not NEARLY as popular back then.. like I specifically remember it like. booming in popularity#at some point. but being pretty rare before that. anyway. thank u passage of time and trends and new gravity falls book for introducing#me back to fictional man I love. so I can now draw myself smooching him and shit#hell yeah.#13 is probably not actually correct I do not remember exactly which year fords reveal was inâŚ#but I was probably older then 13.. but still#the point remains lol.#also omg. the bit in the book w the goth moth. âur probably into this sorta thing right?â#I AM INTO THAT SORTA THING FORD. thank u book of bill for being written specifically @ me. the immersion itâs great.#like ur so right ford I AM edgy and goth howâd u guess that tee hee. eyelash flutter#aLSO PLS IGNORE MY FINGER BEING IN FRAME IN THE LAST PIC. I was drawing in a tiny bound sketchbook#so I had to hold the paper down to keep it flat. and. I didnât feel like censoring my fucking. pinkie finger out of the image
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HE GOT OUT GUYS NO WAY (this is a definitely real ava 11 screenshot)
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#ava tco#ava mercenaries#ava ballista#ava primal#ava hazard#ava agent#ava victim#hes there you can see em just a tiiiny bit#sorry you got pranked btw . this isnt real#or maybe you already knew?#ehhhh whatever the community was doing fun fake screenshots so i had to contribute!#fun fact i actually had a story in mind relating to this#basically victim is about to leave (after another beatup/fight thing) thinking tco is too weak to even fight anymore#but tco jumps at vic and gets them both falling out of the box#tcos finally out now! finally free! for the next 5 seconds#(agents getting ready with the pause again)#have fun with this#also notice tscs cage is still locked! i love fun adding details#i dont even know if i should add the lilacsart tag
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fallen
#KICKS OPEN THE DOOR. HIIIIIII IM BAAAAAACK. TWIRLS MY HAIR AND STARES UNBLINKINGLY AT U#okay so long story short i need to speedrun if i wanna draw ANY lore art this time#bc i go to NY w no computer for 2 weeks on thurs and i wont have nrainrot anymore after. so i need to draw FAST things#so yea. she um. she. died. sniffles. ngl i thought she was already dead from the prev update so this STUNG#the fuckign GRIEF the way lilia collapses down in mourning her loss. she falls to the humans. i am SICK it HURTS#silver was so devastated in 7.5 without even seeing the death firsthand and being like 'how could i ever be loved'#lilia looking at malleus. the future of the kingdom. the treasure of his two closest friends (loves?)#and is like 'how can i ever love him enough' and proceeds to spend A FIFTH OF HIS LIFE SEARCHING FOR A SOLUTION#dealing w prejudice from humans. kicked out of the army Disgraced. all while mourning. he keeps going out of LOVE#twst#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#malleus draconia#hes an egg he counts#ch 7 spoilers#so yea blah blah blah im not as eloquent as u geniuses i will just draw a silly little dramatic art to capture my misery and move forward#suntails
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre âźď¸âźď¸
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john đ but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of âhumanityâ so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of âhumanityâ is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the âgood/evilâ âblack/whiteâ retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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good night (me personally I want something traumatic to happen to Treasure so Porter can lose his shit and simultaneously be affectionate with them while Vincent and Sam at the side going
but that's just me)
#darlin and or lovely can be there as well!#i just wanna#i wanna see porter solaire of all fuckin people going insane over their partner's safety#I'm talking adam or kody levels#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted asmr house of solaire#redacted asmr the solaires#YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT TO HEAR? THE FEAR + DESPERATION + INFATUATION IN PORTER'S VOICE WHEN HE REALIZES TREASURE IS IN DANGER#Porter isn't the type to fall in love. I can already tell#Porter is the type to be 100% or nothing#I want Sam and Vincent to be so flabbergasted in the background#âI didn't know he knew how to do thatâ behavior#yes treasure will be irreversibly traumatized but so are the other listeners lol
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I'm so in love with Rubber Hose Bill omgggggggggggg- â¤ď¸đđ
#so sorry i know that people have very likely already posted this art but i just wanted to post it so that i can say how much i love it! ^w^#that and to also say in the tags that I SWEAR I'LL DRAW HIM AT SOME POINT!!! I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO!!! @//A//@#bill cipher#gravity falls#gf#disney#the book of bill#book of bill#personal
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big cozy sweaters + small shivery colds
#snz blog#snz kink#snzblr#snz scenario#fall snz#snz thoughts#can you tell iâm in a fall mood already#like girl it was literally 100 degrees today#i just love fall#many scenarios to come hehehe
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i think the reason i hate childhood best friends to lovers but not when theyre mlm/wlw is because when its a het ship, people expect them to date as children/teens, so most of the movie/show/book is denying romantic feelings, rather than expanding on the once thought to be only platonic feelings in mlm/wlw ships
#this is a post i made on an alt account btw#but i realized it applies here too#because the reason i like byler#but not other childhood best friends is because#we live in a heteronormative society so mlm wlw actions are seen as platonic#so theres no pressure from outside#so even though they already know each other and are a little in love#we can see them falling in love still#but not with het ships#who have been shoehorned to gf bf roles even in their friendship#to the point where they're basisally already dating#just without the name#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:
(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")
this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks
i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:
(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)
freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama
#THIS ISNT ABOUT ROSE WE CAN STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT WHITE GIRL FOR 1 SECOND. IDC#ALL SHE DOES W REGARDS TO MARTHA IS REMIND HER THAT TEN ISNT GOING TO FALL IN LOVE W HER.#ALL SHE DOES W REGARDS TO TEN IS REMIND HIM THAT EVERY TIME HE LOVES SOMEONE HES FATED TO LOSE THEM. WE CAN IGNORE HER PAST THIS. GBLESS#martha jones#tenth doctor#dr who#ten and martha#'theyre like a rebound' shooting you with my laser eyes sorry. martha says it when she still thinks he's taking her on dates#if he hadn't opened up about gallifrey she would've been totally fine w him taking her back home#and meanwhile ten is very unaware of any kind of romantic element until like the fuckinn. last possible moment lmfao#they are doctor and mentally unstable bus driver. Or perhaps grieving man (genderneutral) and their One (1) friend that has to support them#um idk what this post is. i wanted to pick apart martha's brain for a hot second.#edit:#it's not like 5 am and i'm reading these tags and they're a lot more mean than i meant to put them down as#Not changing them bc i already wrote so much it's out there in the world already sorry. just imagine i'm saying this all nicely#10 era
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